The World Wide Gas Bag

Just saw this over at Awful Announcing. The Gas Bag known as Chris Berman strikes again. With Cal Ripken going into the baseball hall of fame this weekend, various individuals were asked to give their personal memories of Cal. Here's one from America's Most Not Wanted:

"When Cal arrived in the clubhouse before the game, we were set up to meet him to conduct a brief interview. I looked at him with a straight face and said, 'Cal you think you might get in tonight?' Cal laughed, and then we had a great interview for the telecast. Next time I saw him, he thanked me for, at least for 30 seconds, letting him laugh and relax on that unbelievable night."- Chris Berman

Why don't they just rename ESPN, BERMAN, and get it over with?

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America's Most Not Wanted

The television show, America's Most Wanted, has been getting the job done for a number of year's now. We now bring you an alternative for your night time viewing, America's Not Most Wanted. In this 1 hr of gripping TV, well show you who America (well us anyway) doesn't want.

Week 1 - Chris Berman

Have you seen/heard this bloated, arrogant, bad haired, overrated, blowhard? If you have, stay clear. He's mentally unarmed, which makes him quite dangerous. No matter how much you lower the volume with your remote, his voice will still boom out of your speakers. A mute button may temporarily halt his onslaught.

It's Sunday night baseball with John Miller and Joe Morgan. No wait, it's a SF Giants game and it's Berman! He's taken over the broadcast of his favorite team. "Back back back..."

Quick, change to the NFL draft. Yikes, he's there too. Yikes? The mere thought of him affects your manhood. Here comes the bad Cosell impression.

Sportscenter, yes Sportscenter, that's where I can find refuge. Jose "Can you see" Cruz homered in the 3rd inning. Damn, foiled again.

Wait it's Sunday night, it's football season...let me get the highlights.

"He could...go...all...the...way". NOOooooooooooooooooooo.

NFL, College, the All-Star game, the draft, Sportscenter. He's everywhere. He can't be stopped, but you can contain him. Write your congressmen, the execs at Sportscenter, most of all, run..or change the dial.

Insert blood curdling scream here.

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