America's Most Not Wanted
The television show, America's Most Wanted, has been getting the job done for a number of year's now. We now bring you an alternative for your night time viewing, America's Not Most Wanted. In this 1 hr of gripping TV, well show you who America (well us anyway) doesn't want.
Week 1 - Chris Berman
Have you seen/heard this bloated, arrogant, bad haired, overrated, blowhard? If you have, stay clear. He's mentally unarmed, which makes him quite dangerous. No matter how much you lower the volume with your remote, his voice will still boom out of your speakers. A mute button may temporarily halt his onslaught.
It's Sunday night baseball with John Miller and Joe Morgan. No wait, it's a SF Giants game and it's Berman! He's taken over the broadcast of his favorite team. "Back back back..."
Quick, change to the NFL draft. Yikes, he's there too. Yikes? The mere thought of him affects your manhood. Here comes the bad Cosell impression.
Sportscenter, yes Sportscenter, that's where I can find refuge. Jose "Can you see" Cruz homered in the 3rd inning. Damn, foiled again.
Wait it's Sunday night, it's football season...let me get the highlights.
"He could...go...all...the...way". NOOooooooooooooooooooo.
NFL, College, the All-Star game, the draft, Sportscenter. He's everywhere. He can't be stopped, but you can contain him. Write your congressmen, the execs at Sportscenter, most of all, run..or change the dial.
Insert blood curdling scream here.
Week 1 - Chris Berman
Have you seen/heard this bloated, arrogant, bad haired, overrated, blowhard? If you have, stay clear. He's mentally unarmed, which makes him quite dangerous. No matter how much you lower the volume with your remote, his voice will still boom out of your speakers. A mute button may temporarily halt his onslaught.
It's Sunday night baseball with John Miller and Joe Morgan. No wait, it's a SF Giants game and it's Berman! He's taken over the broadcast of his favorite team. "Back back back..."
Quick, change to the NFL draft. Yikes, he's there too. Yikes? The mere thought of him affects your manhood. Here comes the bad Cosell impression.
Sportscenter, yes Sportscenter, that's where I can find refuge. Jose "Can you see" Cruz homered in the 3rd inning. Damn, foiled again.
Wait it's Sunday night, it's football season...let me get the highlights.
"He could...go...all...the...way". NOOooooooooooooooooooo.
NFL, College, the All-Star game, the draft, Sportscenter. He's everywhere. He can't be stopped, but you can contain him. Write your congressmen, the execs at Sportscenter, most of all, run..or change the dial.
Insert blood curdling scream here.
Labels: America's Most Not Wanted, Chris Berman
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