You Say You Want a Resolution

New Year's is a time for resolutions. We think these are some of the ones the Yankees family came up with this year.

Alex Rodriguez
I will not "Vogue" while play third base.
If we make the playoffs, I'll get more than 2 hits. Either way I'll have fun out there.

CC Sabathia
I will leave some of the post game spread for my teammates.

A.J. Burnett
I will stay off the disabled list.

John Sterling
I will not refer to CC Sabathia as Chubby Checkers or Coca Cola. Anyone know what rhymes with Teixeira?

Joe Girardi
I won't lie to the media about injuries. Last week Brian Bruney got a paper cut reading the Sunday paper. I don't know any more, I swear. Get off my back.

Brian Cashman
I will try to cut down on how much I use the word "process". It will take some doing though, because it is a process. Damn.

Melky Cabrera
If I'm not traded, I promise to eat more low fat foods and get more than 2 hits a month.

Mariano Rivera
I'll cut down on losing tie games.

Chien-Ming Wang
I will appear on the post-game show.

Robinson Cano
I will be consistent.

Derek Jeter
I'll date Marissa Miller.
I won't pose as a car salesman.

Michael Kay
I'll continue to make every ball sound like it's hit to the warning track.
I'll continue to use street terms. Are you down with that?
I won't laugh at everything Paul O'Neill and Al Leiter say.

Suzyn Waldman
I will not cry at opening day's first pitch.

John Flaherty
I will try not to be so white bread. Pass the mayo.

Andy Pettitte
I will be a Yankee.

Hank Steinbrenner
I will say something outrageous at least once. Look ma, top of the world!!! See?

George Steinbrenner
I will have a Paul O'Neill day at the new Stadium.

The New Yankee Stadium
I'll watch the Yankees raise the World Series championship banner on opening day, 2010. Okay, that's next year, but you catch my drift.

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We're in Pain

Yes, the Yankees are losing, but we're in pain because of these two.

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Mushnick Jabs Sterling

A lot of what Phil Mushnick says can be taken with a grain of salt, but he's usually on the money when it comes to criticizing the likes of John Sterling, Mike Francesca, and Chris Russo. Today's column took a shot at both, particularly at Sterling, though it had nothing to do with sticking his finger's in Wednesday's dessert.

THAT we should never expect better from John Sterling doesn't make it any easier. To be stuck in a car, forced to listen to the 20-year Voice of the New York Yankees describe a game, is to be the victim of a crime against baseball, broadcasting and the public trust.

Mushnick's remark concern a bang bang play at the plate in Monday's Yankees-Twins games. Bobby Abreu's throw home to Jose Molina easily arrived ahead of the runner, Brendan Harris, but moments later home plate ump Mike Everitt was signaling safe. Molina was livid, but replays showed that, in all likelihood, Molina missed the tag. That didn't stop the man Bob Raismann calls "Pa Yankee" from ripping Everitt and his brethren.

After all, Sterling said, once upon a time had Bobby Abreu charged that hit, fielded it cleanly, thrown a fastball strike to catcher Jose Molina, who then merely had to await the arrival of Harris before he tagged him out, Harris would have been called out.

There's nothing more annoying then the "the ball beat him" call in baseball. So maybe, just maybe, in this case the ump got it right. Suzyn Waldman, who is awful in her role as color commentator (partially due to the fact that Sterling never lets her speak), even pointed it out.

But stuck in a car with John Sterling, voice of the most famous team in sports, Harris was out by a mile. Mile, after mile, after mile, season after season, to be stuck in a car with Sterling is to be stuck like no other baseball fans, anywhere.

Mushnick also took a shot at the arrogant one, Francesa, for basically plagiarizing a Mike Vacarro column for his commentary on Johan Santana. Radio listeners have to realize that if Mike and the Mad Dog do go kaput, it's a good thing.

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Not a Sterling Moment

While we listened to the Yankees game yesterday, we couldn't help but imagine John Sterling sitting there with cake icing on his fingers and ice cream dripping from his chin. And of course that segued to this classic scene from Animal House.

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That boy is a P-I-G Pig

The NY Post (with an assist from The Big Lead) is reporting that John Sterling, who certainly seems to have refined tastes, is anything but refined in the Yankee Stadium kitchen area.

YANKEES radio announcer John Sterling is being called out for foul behavior in the stadium's press dining room. "Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel," one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples.

During the Boston series, "He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat - which indeed happened," our spy continued. A rep for WCBS Radio declined to comment, and a team spokesman said the Yankees "know nothing about it."

Maybe Sterling just needs a big sugar rush to blurt out, "The Yankees win......theeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win!".

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Michael Kay, Yea or Nay?

We've been hearing a lot of anti-Michael Kay talk over the last year. Let's quickly re-phrase that a bit. We've been hearing a lot of anti-Michael Kay talk for years, but it has gotten a lot louder the last year. We're only referring to his work as the lead Yankees broadcaster for the YES Network.

Not his work on Centerstage, which we feel he does very well, or on his radio show, which we could take or leave. There have even been "Fire Michael Kay" blogs started.

Let's review some of our own complaints about Kay as well as a lot of what we've been hearing from others. We won't even bring up his "fivehead". Oops, we just did.

Repetitiveness

Kay definitely has a penchant for repeating himself. We don't mean the kind of repeating that Tim McCarver does, where he's still dissecting a play from three innings ago. We're referring to his constant mentioning of certain things. Some examples:

The size of Kevin Mench's head; Every time the Yankees play the team Mench is on, Kay goes on about how large Mench's melon is. Okay, we get it. It's a throwback to the '70s when Frank Messer couldn't stop talking about how Carlos May had half his thumb blown off.

The repeat use of phrases, especially corny ones. "He's like the girl with the curl. He's either very good or very bad."

The "Martini Glass" defense to describe the shift when Jason Giambi comes up.

Part of this next example is obviously an issue with the YES director and production team. Every time David Cone is in the booth we don't need to see the last out of his perfect game. Kay is only partially duplicitous (we use that word here because he loves to use it) here since he just intros the clip.

Another irritating Kayism has even bothered his fellow broadcasters, though it's usually good natured. That would be Kay's use of $5 words to describe a scene that could be easily stated in a more user friendly manner. Don't get us wrong, education and expanding your vocabulary is great, but this is a baseball game not an English lit class. Some examples:

"His speech was filled with vitriol."

Act your age. We are all for immaturity, but when you're 47-years old trying to sound 20, you just sound stupid.

"Are you guys down with that?"

The corny factor.

"When we come back we'll put a bow on this one." Heck we can't even stand when he thanks us for tuning in.

Asinine gimmickry - "QuanGorMo" to describe the Yankees 7th thru 9th inning was stupid, and "Generation Trey" to lump Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain, and Ian Kennedy together is obnoxious and loathed. What makes the latter worse is David Cone has picked it up. On the bright side, no one else has.

The obvious - Asking John Flaherty about his approach at the plate. Flaherty, except for a year or two, couldn't hit his way out of a paper bag. We don't want to know what his approach is.

The home run call - Coming up with a distinctive home run call is tough. No question about it. But "See ya" is really weak. It's also become the rallying cry for those who want Kay out of the booth. We also hate it because of the guy we played golf with one time who yelled it every time we hit a ball into the woods. We heard it a lot.

Exaggeration - You have to keep things interesting during a broadcast, but Kay overplays many plays. The grounder in the hole at shortstop is a routine play. It shouldn't sound like Brooks Robinson just dove into foul territory, got up, and threw a runner out. Kay is guilty of this all the time. Every ball hit to the outfield is "driven" even if it's a routine fly ball.

To his credit, Kay does a good job of getting the analysts involved in various discussions. But, we have a major issue with the guys in the suits who gave Kay exclusive play-by-play rights. Back in the day we enjoyed the rotation of announcers. At that point they rotated between radio and TV. What makes this worse is that the best play-by-play guy YES has is Kenny Singleton, and he only gets to have that role when Kay doesn't accompany the team to the towns he hates (i.e. Kansas City).

While he probably has a better grasp of the game than John Sterling, he too, like Sterling, seems like he spent his formative years at tap class rather than actually playing the sport. He makes pointless points, that wouldn't be agreed upon by smart baseball people. We also have an issue with Kay kissing ass on YES and then ripping the same people on his radio show (i.e. Joe Torre after his departure).

We would like to see Kay go...back to radio. We were annoyed at first by the Sterling-Kay extravaganza, but they grew on us. Since Suzyn Waldman is horrible on the radio broadcast, it would be a natural fit.

Michael Kay, SEE YA.

Now please fill out our poll and tell us what you think.

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Olberman: Thaaaaaaaa Yankees Win

SPORTSbyBROOKS has an amusing piece on Keith Olberman's desire to become the Yankees play-by-play announcer. It's definitely worth checking out.

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Thaaaaaaaaaaa Yankeessssss Winnnnnn

Ever wondered what John Sterling looks like when he is screaming his game ending victory war cry. Well thanks to Youtube, here it is.

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Godzilla Goes Deep

Hideki Matsui loves National League pitching. He'd probably be the next Ted Williams if he played there full time. We'll just settle for the 2-run HR he just hit to give the Yankees an early lead.

But we have to slap John Sterling for his "A thrilla, from Godzilla". Oof.

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Yankees Lose.....the Yankeeeeeeeeeees Lose

It's becoming more and more prevalent and it continued this afternoon. Between knowing that I'll have to sit in rain traffic on the way home, losing, and having listened to John "Mr. Showmanship" Sterling for 9 innings, I am ready to get violent.

The offense did nothing again, and just like last year's playoffs, Mike Mussina (2-2) kept spitting up the lead. David Wells pitched to the scoreboard. Mike Mussina pitches to a loss.

Trailing 1-0 in the 5th, Bobby Abreu tied it up with a solo HR off of John Danks (2-4), his 2nd, to left. Sterling, the Butcher of the Bronx, said the ball dropped in. George Bush might say, "nice job Sterly".

Mussina immediately gave the lead back, giving up an RBI single to Darin Erstad in the bottom half of the inning. It would have been worse if left fielder Melky Cabrera hadn't robbed Juan Uribe of a 2-run HR. Sterling of course said that Melky didn't have it.

Melky Cabrera doubled in Jorge Posada in the 6th to tie things up again, but there was Moose blowing it again in the bottom of the inning. A.J. Pierzynski homered to lead off the inning and Joe Crede and Tadahito Iguchi added RBIs for a 5-2 lead.

Josh Phelps hit a solo HR off of David Aardsma in the 8th, but it was too little, too late. Ozzie Guillen opted to go with hard throwing lefty Matt Thornton in the 9th instead of closer Bobby Jenks and it paid off as the Yankees went in order.

~~~

Jorge Posada went 2-3 to raise his average to .373 and pass Derek Jeter (.372) for the AL lead.

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